So I'm back! It's been a month since I had real time to myself. And when I say real, I mean tonio is sleeping in the swing and I have about ten minutes before he wakes.
He's really been testing my limits lately. He doesn't cry, he more like.. whines with a hidden smile. I feel like he's smarter than we think. I feel he knows what is right and wrong and parenting books tell us he doesn't.. but I swear he does. Today I had it up to here.. ( i'm gesturing an " up to here" hand movement). As I try to calm his whining, I change him, I feed him, I rock him. Nothing but going to near impossible measures works for him. I have to breastfeed him as I rock AND sway AS I walk around the house humming and singing " go cheepy cheepy". This is the only thing that entertains him enough to get him to comfortably fall asleep.
I haven't had enough sleep lately. With my husband finally living with us after 6 months, you'd think it would be easier on me. It's harder. Knowing someone is laying next to me sleeping as tonio cries at 2:30am really gets to me that I am the one who's responsible to take care of him. To rock him and feed him. Not only do I stay up all night, I wake up early (8am-9am is early to me these days). I entertain tonio all day. My morning goes like this. Wake up, feed, set tonio in his bouncer as I rush to feed my pup, water the plants, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, and MAYBE have time to eat something quick before the sweet chimes of my baby's cry start. When I tell you this all gets done in 15-25 min, i'm not lying. I am overwhelmed.
Mother's day passed not too long ago. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't expect much. Alex isn't much of a gift giver. His theory is " you buy stuff for yourself all the time". So I mean.. I guess. Gifts don't show your love and appreciation but man would it help. You know what I got? A speeding ticket LOL. But in all seriousness, I got a plant and card two days later.
Father's day is coming up this sunday. He's getting diddly. I am underappreciated I feel so hope he feels the same.
So Fathers