Snails and Scales

Let’s get to the point. Loving yourself is the hardest part about motherhood. It’s not the late nights and early mornings. It’s not the being needed at all times of the day. And it’s not the part where your baby is crying and you’ve changed them, fed them, put them to sleep, and you still don’t know what is wrong. The hardest part is looking at your face in the mirror and seeing how round your face is. The fat underneath your chin. Then you look farther. There’s a pudge of fat in your armpit. Your arms don’t look thin anymore. Back fat is hanging over your bra. You pull your pants up over your stomach fat. There’s stretch marks on your now love-handles. Along with marks on your thighs and calves. Losing weight seems close to impossible. Sometimes I wake up, thinking I’ll get some breakfast, gets ready for the day, get the baby ready, and take a walk to the gym. Ha! By the time I wake up, wash the dishes, make break fast, eat, feed the baby, take the dog out, feed the dog, change the baby, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, feed the baby AGAIN, brush my teeth, get dressed, get the baby dressed, change the baby on more time.. it’s about 2pm and two hours away from making dinner. Where did the day go? Where was the me time? See my problem?